Most of you know that I find the aspect of modern funeral practices to be barbaric, and disturbing. When I lost my grandfather, who died at home, in the care of my family, I vowed to myself, that a funeral director and home would be minimally involved in my after death care. The feeling of handing my loved one over at such a time of pain and relief (particularly after a long illness) was hard. Even though our funeral director was very kind and considerate of us being able to sit with my grandfather for some time after he had passed, I still felt this void when he was whisked away not to be seen until the grand unveiling at the funeral home in a few days. While Charlie did an absolutely beautiful job making my grandfather look like a healthier version of himself. He still looked like a manikin and was hard, and clay like, not at all what he felt like after death. It deeply disturbed me, it always have when I've had to go to viewings.
A blogger and mortician from LA, Caitlin Doughty (www.orderofthegooddeath.com) mentioned a PBS documentary entitled, "A Family Undertaking". I put it in my netflix queue and it arrived this weekend. I watched it this morning. What a beautiful, eye opening film. I highly recommend it to anyone interested in caring for their own dead. It was moving and very informative. It tells several stories of families caring for their dead and one elderly man's involvement with planning his funeral and the gentle, kind way that his family cared for him after death. Watching people take on the process of death and dying on their own terms is beautiful and very emotional. I will admit that I was so very moved by the amount of personal care these families put into giving their loved ones exactly what they wanted after death.
I know this spring/summer, I will be undertaking the building of my own coffin for use when I finally leave this world. I look forward to it, contemplating my mortality and accepting where we all end up.
